He Was A Quiet Man

He Was A Quiet Man tells the story of Bob (Christian Slater), a bumbling and bullied office worker who battles with the vicissitudes of a world gone corporate bonkers, where “lawyers are our shepherds” and women have the vote. An under-appreciated and cubical-banished cog in the machine, Bob’s story is one of anti-global politics and semi-Freudian sentiment.

Or at least that’s what the opening five minutes of Frank A. Cappello’s film seem to promise. A monochrome montage of corporate living and law-enforcement is conjoined with Slater’s reeling voiceover; “this is not progress” he says “not evolution”. At which point both Freud and Marx presumably raise their (similarly arched) eyebrows in their graves. But the opening is misleading, and the two great minds are quickly allowed to rest in continued peace.

Because beneath its initial posturing, He Was A Quiet Man is an Ugly Betty for the cinema screen. OK, it’s not quite so glitzy, and the tone isn’t as predictably self-serving, but scratch at the surface and there’s a light-hearted teen’com just waiting to break out here. With fish that talk, characters that reoccur in lifts, glossy boardrooms and a disguised lead, all the elements are firmly in place; HWAQM even feels at times as though it may suddenly burst into song.

Which is all a bit unexpected, really, since Cappello’s film is supposedly a dark comedy. And there are laughs here – genuine ones at that – as the central pair of Bob and Vanessa (Elisha Cuthbert) become entwined (which is not necessarily that easy you see, since Vanessa is a quadriplegic). They are an unlikely twosome; Bob is old, repellent and unsuccessful whilst Vanessa is young, beautiful and gives “the best blow jobs in the county”. Slater and Cuthbert work well opposite each other, and since neither is too disguised in their ‘unnatural’ roles, you can imagine a slight possibility in their conjoining. What’s more, they manage to accentuate the funny side to their sexual predicament; Slater’s typical overacting actually works quite well in the face of Cuthbert’s vacant stare and wheelchair bound sexuality.

But if this is supposed to be laughter in the dark, then HWAQM is neither funny nor dark enough. In fact, it’s quite camp and kitschy; Cappello is happy to laden on the symbolism (clouds get darker whilst touching pinkies agonisingly part) without ever really delving too deep into what’s being symbolised. The result is an overtly stylised flick that seems to get lost in itself and yet never really works out what it is in the first place. Cappello has the material for an interesting movie here, but he kitsches over the line between comedy and meaning to the point where it becomes difficult to discern exactly what he’s going for. The ominous weight of the opening and the clearly pointed ambiguity of the ending just don’t sit with film’s often giggly frivolity in between.

There is an important question at stake here; just how can Hollywood do kitsch purposefully when so much of what it does naturally is make sanitised and artificial films? You get the feeling that had HWAQM indulged its camper tendencies just a little more it could have been a Singing Detective for 2007 and its kitsch could be lauded as purposeful and poignant. As it is, the film is suspiciously empty at best.

He Was A Quiet Man may well receive an extended cinema run, not least due to the transformation of Slater, who manages to play a character as far from type as Russell Crowe did in A Beautiful Mind. Aside from that, the only other real point of interest is the title, which is by far the best of this year. It’s just a shame so little lies behind it.